Suzanne ‘Suzie’ Pharand lived a life of connections.
Some would be lifelong, like her children, her friends, and her devoted husband of 50 years, Joseph ‘Aime’ Giroux. Then there are the literal connections she made as ‘the voice of Laurentian’, operating the switchboard at Laurentian University until she retired. We’re told it was quite literally impossible to replace her.
There were the connections she made with colleagues, with students, guiding them with the voice of a mother, a feminist, and a woman that posessed both empathy and backbone in equal measure.
There were lost connections as well. Losing her son Stéphane to hydrocephalus an hour after his birth, never able to look upon his face or see the beautiful boy she and her husband had created. It was a loss she would carry her entire life.
Sadly, her life is a connection that is now lost as well. Her children must face not just her loss, but the loss of both their parents at once in a tragic fateful car accident on Feb. 2. The couple’s northbound vehicle collided with a tractor-trailer on Highway 69 near Pointe au Baril on their way back from a specialist appointment. Their beloved dog, Toupie, died with them.
And now, in place of connection, silence remains.
But for her daughter Mélanie Fox, speaking on behalf of herself and her sister Allicia, it is the connections that give them what little comfort there is for the grief at losing both parents. They were together, the vows they took on March 27, 1971, at Paroisse St Jacques in Hanmer kept in their hearts until their last breath. They were with their beloved Toupie, the dog that they adored. But most of all, Fox hopes that her mother and father can finally look upon their son, to see his face for the first time.
Fox said her mother would tell her that she loved “how easy-loving my dad was.” Pharand loved that he was a good dancer, that he was dedicated to his family, though she was not such a fan of his brand of humour. “Dad jokes,” Fox said with a laugh.
After the loss of their son in 1972, Pharand and Giroux were blessed with two more children, Fox, in 1980 and their daughter Allicia in 1985.
Fox is overcome with emotion at the sheer number of wonderful memories the family has shared. From her parents competing on every game possible — both card and video — to their love of watching old movies together. Even the music that would fill their home, with Giroux having played in a band he left to raise his family, and his lovely wife singing along as often as she liked.
Fox said the couple was built on balance.
“My dad always loved how organized my mom was and that she was good at the finances part of the marriage,” said Fox. “My dad drove, but my mom never did. My mom handled money while my dad never stressed about it. My mom did the cooking and my dad did the cleaning. They really were meant for each other.”
And the part about being organized? There is someone who would wholeheartedly agree with that: Gisèle Pageau. Pageau met Pharand when she began working at Laurentian University in 1979 and said Pharand, who began at the university in 1974, was instrumental to her success.
Communication with anyone in the university came through the switchboard. Pageau estimates there were about 1,000 staff members at the time, each one connected through a series of wires and plugs, each one uniquely identified with a number that Pharand had memorized.
When asked to describe her, Pageau laughs a little. “Man, she was one feisty woman. Nothing, nothing could stop her.”
Fox said her mother “definitely had her opinions and she had no problem whatsoever telling anyone what it was,” but that you could depend on her for anything.
“She was a very hard worker, if she didn't know how to do something, she figured it out and fast.”
Fox said her mother had a passion for learning and was deeply caring.
“She would always lend an ear to anyone in need. When her colleagues or friends were suffering or going through anything, they always knew they could talk to her and she would listen. She would try to offer help or at least give options on where to find help if she could,” said Fox. “But, she also didn't suffer stupidity.”
She also didn’t suffer sexism.
When she and Pageau began working with the Laurentian University Staff Union (LUSU), Pageau enlisting her friend to help with a strike because she knew what Pharand was capable of when she put her mind to it.
“This goes back to 1985, when LUSU held its first strike so that it could achieve what is now known as pay equity,” said Pageau. “She was instrumental not only as a feisty picket captain but also took the time to explain to the nay-sayers the importance of paying women for work of equal value to predominately male positions.”
She was able to clearly convey that the work the woman of the switchboard performed was of equal or greater value than of a groundskeeper, who at the time made at least 40 per cent more, garnering a wage increase. “This was a first and considered extremely progressive for the mid-80’s.”
Pharand also had a very special place in her heart for students. “She acted as a second mother, a confidant, an advisor, and a friend to all of them who found their way to her,” said Pageau. Pharand dedicated work hours as the first face everyone saw when they entered the Parker Building on campus, but also after hours, consoling and guiding students, offering a shoulder to cry on for every lonely young kid who just needed warm words and a smile from someone who truly cared.
She also knew how to detect when something else was wrong.
“On a number of occasions, she referred the students to either Health Services or in domestic abuse situations to Genevra House.”
When Pharand and her beloved husband died, they were on their way home from a specialist appointment in Toronto. Pharand had been recently diagnosed with advanced glaucoma and was hopeful, but fearful, to be having surgery soon.
“She couldn't see much anymore and her worst fear was of going completely blind and never being able to see any of us again,” said Fox. “I know she was nervous about the upcoming surgery but was more scared of complete blindness.”
If she’d had more time, Fox knows her mother would have spent it with family. “She would have definitely wanted to spend it surrounded by all of us,” said Fox.
“We keep hoping that we'll wake up one morning and this will all have been a horrible nightmare but, we also know, our parents would have wanted us to grieve and move on living our lives,” said Fox. “They would never want us to just give up. So we won't. We will keep living, for them, for our kids, and for ourselves.”
The family is currently fundraising through a GoFundMe to cover funeral costs for both Pharand and her husband. The fund has already collected $20,590 of its $25,000 goal.
